Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
