ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
