I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
