Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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