I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
