Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
