do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
