the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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