Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
