this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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