who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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