She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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