May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
