im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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