i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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