I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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