Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
