i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
