just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
