CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
