Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
