I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
