Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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