Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
