He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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