do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
