That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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