Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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