Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
