And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
