i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
