We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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