I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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