Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
