tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
