yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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