Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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