its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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