weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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