Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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