"it" just moved
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My vagina just recognized that song.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
