You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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