i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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