I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
try to milk me bitch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
