May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
