Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
