Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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