I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
