i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
