How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
